By Ramsharan Joshi
Wake up in the middle of the night,
Got up from the bed,
Drank water,
Went and sat on the chair.
Started flipping the pages of the history book.
Suddenly my eyes fell on the wall,
Saw two thin and fat lizards fighting with each other,
I got scared.
They can fall on the bed,
They can attack me,
They can get crushed,
On my back.
The matter,
Doesn’t end here.
I see an army of new and old intruders.
Cockroaches, spiders, ants, mosquitoes, bedbugs have laid siege,
On the house.
I can’t eat food,
Peacefully,
Burps are stuck in the windpipe.
I can’t sleep stretched out,
Snoring,
I am choked.
I am tired of cleaning and dusting my clothes,
Looking for a cockroach hiding in my pocket.
Spider webs are stuck to the ceilings of the bathroom and kitchen.
Cats play hide and seek for milk.
Mosquitoes have a nest in the corners of the room.
They are waiting at night,
Ready to attack.
Some rat may be hiding in my shoes.
Bedbugs are stuck to the table, chair and bed.
In the loft,
A den of rats.
Eyes fixed on the rotis.
Termite nests are growing behind the book shelf.
Birds intrude through the skylight.
Ants occupy the floor.
They are all enemies of my love.
And I can’t tolerate this senseless and unwarranted population.
They have turned this garden-like home into hell.
Pesticides will have to be sprayed,
hit-fleets will have to be set up,
mousetraps will have to be deployed,
poisonous bullets will have to be scattered,
gas will have to be fired in their burrows.
All these bastards have gone to Hamas.
If needed, I will blow up the house with gunpowder.
Everyone will be transformed into Gaza.
All these creatures are innocent!
Yes.
Innocent!
12 November, 24.
Based in Delhi, Ramsharan Joshi is a seasoned journalist, eminent author and academic.